Клуб программы
Au Pair

Данная история прислала замечательная девушка Olga. Она была участницей программы Au Pair в США, а после окончания программы осталась обучаться и строить карьеру в США. У этой девушки есть чему поучиться! Также, благодаря данному рассказу, вы можете потренировать свой английский .



So, the previous story stopped at the time of me leaving the 3rd family. I was living in MD at that time; and I?ve found a new job to work for an elderly lady in Atlantic City, NJ. I was with her less than a week, and because I?d declined to give her any references (I think you understand why, considering the fact that I just ran away from the family) she had threw me away from the house. It was a big luck that there still was a girl who I came to be instead of. And that girl gave me a shelter for a night, and the next day I went to my friend, another au-pair, in DC. Thank god, I had another option- I said no to them at first, although it sounded good, but I didn?t want to go across the country, and that is why I chose the old lady. But it was a bad choice, as it turned out. I contacted them and they flew me over. And my journey finished up in ? San Francisco bay area, and if to be exact - Berkeley.

About the family - it was not a usual one, although not for the Bay area. The parents were divorced and had 50/50 custody. I worked for the mother and lived in her house, and just went to the dad?s house only for several hours a day on the weeks when kids were with him. He lived very close, about 7 minutes from the mother?s house. But, let?s go back to the oddness- the mother had a life partner, who she left dad for. Um-m, yeah, it is what you think it is- life partner means they are gays, so there were 2 moms. And the interesting part is that they knew each other for 18-19 years, but 2 years ago decided that they love each other!?!?! One more interesting fact is that the mother tended to be able to stay in relations for only about 10 years? She was married to the 1st husband for about that time, and had 3 kids with him, and then she stayed with the 2nd husband for about the same number of years, and had 2 kids with him. Now, we are all waiting to see if it will become true in this case too. ? So she had 5 kids in general: a daughter, 26y.o.(who had a son and a daughter); a son, 23yo; a son, 17yo; a daughter, 12yo and a son, 8yo. The youngest 3 lived at home and I was taking care of them. The first 6 moths were great- the mothers loved me, and everything else was ok, and only the youngest son, Will, had problems with me. And I have to admit that it was primarily my fault. He was very spoiled, and had showed it to me from the first day, he always tried to make me do some stuff for him, i.e. to carry his backpack, to tie his shoes, to do his homework, and I just don?t tolerate such behavior, and I?ve told him so. But when I?m upset or in bad feelings my voice becomes harsh, so it doesn?t sound nice. So, that was the problem, but with time he got to love me. I didn?t have any problems with the other 2 kids, though I didn?t spend as much time with them as with Will. I just mostly did their laundry, room and gave rides to the girl, Meagan. We?ve hit some problems after 8 months when the mothers asked me to clean up at their other house where they spend the weeks when they didn?t have kids. At first I agreed, since I?ve thought it?s only for a while, but when they said it?s for all time I said no, and that we didn?t talk about that in the beginning, they tried to play it like we did talk, but I stood on my grounds, so I got out of that. But this put a big drift in our relations. Among other problems was the fact that I had great relation with the father, Howard, and for the mothers it meant that I took his side, and against them. I think because they just came out of the closet they were very suspicious about everyone?s thoughts and feelings of them being gay. Although I?ve never told them anything against them, or showed any negative acting towards gays. It?s just that Howard was great, and we?ve had great relationship. He helped me by signing financial papers for school, only after 3 months that I?ve worked for them, and I didn?t even knew him that good at that time. And mothers said no when I asked them about it. There were some other duties I didn?t like but I had to do, because they weren?t some impossible ones, and it was easier to do it than to make a fuss about that. In general, it was pretty sweet position; they really treated me as a part of the family. In the beginning I always had a dinner with the family, they invited me for dinner every day, there was only one time when they didn?t invite me, I think, and it was some party or something like that. I, myself, started not to eat with them, because I often had some stuff to do in the evening, so, many days I was out of the house in the evenings. They invited me to their house on a river, in couple of hours from Berkeley, when they went there for a week of vacation, I went for one day and they didn?t expect me to work. And they permitted my mother to stay at the house both times that she had visited me. Although they didn?t take me to Disneyland, when they went there. But as I already said, it was a good deal- I had a car in my possession, so I was able to drive all over the Bay area, I had a cell phone, a good salary, and a lot of free time. And I loved living in the Bay area, it?s very beautiful there and the weather is awesome!! So, I was working for them for a year when they told me that they decided that their 18yo son is gonna take care of the youngest kids in the summer, so I need to look for a new job to start in a month. The kids were sad because of that, especially Meagan. Mothers tried to play the card that Will doesn?t like me as an explanation of their decision, but Will already got used to me and even loved me. But the main problem was that that they didn?t like that I had my own opinion about stuff, and I didn?t agree with everything they wanted me to do, and of course money. They thought they paid me more than generous, and though the pay was good, but not like super-puper. And they were very cheap. For example, on Halloween when the kids were deciding if they want to go to the rich houses or middle class, the mother told them that more often you?d get less candies from the rich houses, and just like in confirmation of her words put only one bowl of candies out and didn?t put much candies in that. Isn?t it ironic? And they were real wealthy!!!

So, I started to look for a new job, but Howard asked me to stay for the summer and work for him. I absolutely loved it!!! During the year we?ve got to develop very good relations, and it was such a pleasure to work for him. He?s absolutely wonderful person and father! He is the perfect person to be au-pair/nanny for. He understands people and people?s needs, and that if you?ll treat nanny well than you?ll get much more love for whole family in return, and that if you work together then you can make it livable for everybody, and everybody would be happy. We keep in touch with him still, even after almost a year since I stopped working. And several months ago he even signed my financial papers for a university, when I needed to show that I have enough funds to study. And the interesting part, that he is not rich at all, but he was so much more generous than mothers, who had millions. He was my best employer ever!!! He?s like a person from au-pair?s brochure- that perfect, amazing American family, who you?ll get a bunch of wonderful experiences with!! The new job I found started in October, and it sounded very good, when I just heard about it- it was supposed to be only 3 hours in early morning, and then 2 hours in evening, at any time. And the first months were good, as usual. But after some time problems started. First time it happened when they told me that while father will be gone for a week I should sleep upstairs in a room next to kids? on a very thin mattress. Well, maybe by now you can see that I?m a big push over, and it?s easier for me to agree to something I don?t like (if it doesn?t require a lot of sacrifice from my side), so I didn?t say anything against it. They also told me to be home by 9:30pm. But one day I said that I want to go out with friends and we had kind of a fight. (but I just can?t imagine that a grown up woman would be afraid to stay alone a couple of hours in a well-protected house in a very safe neighborhood) So that was the first one. Later we had arguments about me not being out there for them when they needed me (from their point of view). But they never remembered that I canceled other job or appointments, even at last minute. Just sometimes I couldn?t back up from my other job, and we talked in the beginning, when we just met, that I will take a second job, because this one is not a full-time, so I?d need to get more hours somewhere else to make up for the difference in salary. But, as always, they immediately forgot it when it became not in their advantage. And I have to outline it again ? they never understood me or my side, but I always took in consideration their desires and their side. Even when we talked about that it always came up to me being an ungrateful person who never bends for them, and them being super great and thinking about my well being. But somehow I got only 1 or 2 days off in the last 7 months, although I have to confess I didn?t ask for a day off for couple months, because I was ok without that. But when I asked for that in the last 3 months I always got a negative answer, because it was inconvenient for them. I didn?t get any holidays either. And I didn?t make a lot of fuss of this, because it was the end of my staying and I didn?t want to end up being without job for the last months before I?ll start school, because especially at that time I needed all the money I could get. I think you can see that I always made some excuses for not getting into big fights or confronting the families, because I was in most cases afraid that I?ll have to look for a new family and it?s just too much stress, and I wanted to avoid it at any price.

Here I want to add some info about the family, so you?d understand everything better. The mother didn?t do anything herself; although she told me many times that she used to do everything herself when she lived in India till marriage. But here is couple of examples: 1) she didn?t give me July 4th off because the father was away and she just couldn?t handle everything herself on that one morning that I wanted to have off. And what had to be done that morning are to make a breakfast for the girls and put sheets in the washer/dryer, so the cleaners can come later and put it back on the bed, that?s all. Is it an impossible task? But she thought it was, especially since the father away, although I don?t understand what difference does it make since he didn?t do anything at the house and didn?t help with the girls in the morning at all. So it was just her stupid excuse. 2) The parents still sleep with kids although they are 6 and 8 yo. Once I saw a letter from a tooth fairy where she said how proud she is that girls are going to sleep by themselves and I was so impressed that finally it?s happening, and they getting there where the normal kids got long time ago. Well, was I wrong? the part of them sleeping by themselves meant that they will sleep by themselves in the bed, and parents will sleep on mattresses on the floor!!!! 3) One morning on a week before I left I was cleaning outdoor furniture and the mother asked me to come to help with breakfast, and you know what did it include? To pour milk in cups!!! Isn?t it ridiculous that she took me away from a time-consuming task to pour milk!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, with them treating me this way I decided to tell them that I?m leaving for school not in a month in an advance, as they wanted, but in 3 weeks. I know it?s not a big difference, but even this made me happier (for doing something nasty to them ). I wanted to tell them even later, but since I?m always trying to make other people happy I couldn?t bring myself to do it. (Although now I wish I did). So I told them that I have to leave on August, 6th (Monday) and she had guilted me in working that morning. So, when later I found out that my orientation starts on Monday instead of Tuesday I decided not to tell them till the last minute. Especially since I didn?t think that 2 days are gonna make such a big difference. So I came to her at Wednesday noon and told her that my plans changed and I?m leaving on Saturday morning instead of Monday. Could you guess what I heard in replay??? I?ve never thought I would hear this. She said: ?No, you can?t do it! You can?t leave!? !?!?!?!?!?!??! Hello?! I think they definitely thought we live in an age of slavery or in their India. She continued: ?You can?t go, I invited some friends over.? I was just in shock, is it my problem??? Well, the long story short- they gave a speech in the evening about how ungrateful I am( big surprise, right? ), bad and so on, and asked if I?ll keep my word and leave on Monday, 6th. And when I said no, they asked me to leave on the next day, Thursday. So it was 2 days till the time when I planned to leave, but I was so happy about that!!!! Although it was much more hassle with all my stuff, but I was so relieved to finally leave them, and not being a nanny anymore!!! I felt such joy and freedom that day!!! I was free!!!!!!!!!!!!! At last, no more families to be depend on anymore, I was on my own, able to do what I want!!!!!!!!!!

In two days time I drove away from my favorite SF bay area, my 2 years of memories and wonderful experiences, friends, places I knew and grew to love very-very much, amazing weather(that I really-really miss) and ?from mostly awful memories of being a nanny, and I hope I would never do it again. I?m in school now, new kind if difficulties ahead of me, but it can?t be worse then being a live-in nanny!!!
So, foreclosure: It may seem as an easy job, but it takes a toll on you, a big one. But at the same time, it?s not the most exhausting physically job, and you can make good money.


Things I think are important:
1. If you have a chance to become a live-out nanny, not live-in - do it. It makes all the difference. I?ve had couple families I worked as a live-put nanny, and I loved it, it?s so much easier, you just there for couple hours, and you see them as maximum for 20 min, so you can?t get tired of them
2. Take some good classes, with credits.
3. Don?t bend too much- if you can do it, of course, as you can see I wasn?t very strong in this department.
4. Travel- whenever you have an opportunity, you may never have a chance for that again.
5. Get a credit card as soon as possible, you?ll need it everywhere.
6. And the same about SSN.
7. Always have a backup plan, where to go if you?ll have troubles and what to do.